Things younger than Republican Presidential candidate (oh, and did I forget to mention war hero?) John McCain

I saw a documentary on this guy a while back and now just saw his photo on Gawker.com. I’m drawn to it the way John McCain is drawn to an early-bird special and, thus, needed to post it here…. yet I have nothing really to say.

Anyone want to take a stab at writing a post for it?

The floor is yours.

Woman’s Day Magazine is younger than John McCain.

Woman’s Day, which was originally an in-store recipe planner, became a full-fledged magazine in the year John McCain was born. It sold for 2¢ and featured articles on crafts, cooking, home decoration, needlework, and more.

I wonder how its founders - along with their current subscriber base of 4,200,000 - feel about this little bit of “straight talk” directed at Cindy McCain by her loving husband:

“At least I don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you….”

Well, we all know how it ends. So nice, so Presidential.

This is my first attempt at the world of YouTube - so be kind… and spread the love.

Larry Flynt is younger than John McCain.

Bi-polar, paralyzed from the waist down, one-time Presidential candidate, and an all-around creepster, Mr. Flynt was sued by Jerry Falwell in 1983 over an ad that suggested that Falwell’s first sexual experience was with his mother. Lovely.

Flynt won the case and, according to Wikipedia, “the decision clarified that public figures cannot recover damages for “intentional infliction of emotional distress” based on parodies”… which is very good news for me.

The Margarita is younger than John McCain.

Matt G. from the UK just wrote in with this great suggestion off of my earlier treatise on the Nacho - thanks Matt!

The origin of the Margarita is a subject of heated debate (well, at least among the five or six people who lay claim to its invention) but my favorite has to be that it was created by Enrique Bastate Gutierrez in the early 1940’s as an homage to Rita Hayworth, whose real name was Margarita Cansino (”Cansino” being Spanish for “drink until you can’t feel anything from the waist down”).

The Nacho is younger than John McCain.

For the first seven years of his life, John McCain lived in a cold, dark, lonely, nacho-less world. (I think I read that on the Internet - so it must be true.) He described this period as “the worst time of his life” - although he might have been referring to that whole Vietnam thing… where, coincidentally, he also was deprived of Nachos).

John McCain takes a hard stand against illegal immigration - calling for tougher border security and more careful screening at points of entry into the United States. Thank goodness he was just a mere lad at the time of my hero Ignacio “Nacho” Anaya’s brave and noble journey to the United States.

(Incidentally, for my peso, the above restaurant serves the best Mexican food in New York.)

Don Imus is younger than John McCain.

My issue with Don Imus isn’t that, in an attempt to be a poor man’s Howard Stern, he made some racial comments - no, my issue with him has always been that he’s just not funny.

And that he looks like a ghost.

The guy across from me at Panera Bread is younger than John McCain.

As I sit here, using (at best) four fingers to pound away on the keyboard of my Macbook Pro, I’m noticing that a man who looks to be in his late sixties just walked in…. carrying, no joke, his own cushion for the seat! God only knows what’s going on in his body that creates the need for him to bring a seat cushion from home to Panera Bread but, if there was ever a sign of age, this sure is one of them.

I don’t know - this might launch another barrage of emails calling me “ageist”, but I for one don’t want my President bringing his ‘roid pillow to peace negotiations at Camp David.

By law, many Federal employees are younger than John McCain.

According to the U.S. Office of Personnel Management, Title 29 of U.S.C. Section 633a states that agencies are (permitted) “to establish a maximum age requirement only in instances where they have proven to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that age is a bona fide occupational qualification necessary for the performance of the duties of a particular position.”

Um, OK - I can think of such a position.

The Magic 8 Ball is younger than John McCain.

Is John McCain too old to be President?
You may rely on it.

I heard the blog was mentioned last night and I would love to see a clip… anyone?

I just received an email from one Jude Kamara of Sierra Leone. It seems that her whole family was killed in “the war” and, for some reason, that now entitles ME to receive the sum of $3,500,000.00. This, coupled with the lottery I won a few times last week, means that I see all of you on the other side of easy street.

How do I stop this crap???

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs are younger than John McCain.

In 1937, a time when it was apparently OK to refer to little people as “dwarves” (when we all know they much prefer to called… oh, never mind!), this classic film became the first full length animated feature produced by Walt Disney.

Here, thanks to Wikipedia, are some dwarf names that didn’t make the cut:

Awful, Bald, Biggo-Ego, Biggy-Wiggy, Burpy, Busy, Chesty, Cranky, Daffy, Dippy, Dirty, Dizzy, Doleful, Flabby, Gloomy, Graceful, Helpful, Hoppy, Hotsy, Hungrey, Jaunty, Lazy, Neurtsy, Nifty, Puffy, Sappy, Sneezy-Wheezy, Sniffy, Scrappy, Silly, Soulful, Strutty, Stuffy, Sleazy, Tearful, Thrifty, Tipsy, Titsy, Tubby, Weepy, Wistful, and Woeful.

Too bad McCain hasn’t picked a running mate yet - otherwise, we could start banging out the “Sleepy/Sleazy in ‘08″ bumper stickers right away!
(Thanks to Robin, florida, Christina, Mark, Samuel, Claudia, Jane, and Reverend F. for the tip!)

Let Us Now Praise Famous Men is younger than John McCain.

This classic work by writer James Agee and photographer Walker Evans started as a New Deal program designed to put focus on the poorest segments of the American population - to produce, as Agee says in the preface, “a photographic and verbal record of the daily living and environment of an average white family of tenant farmers.”

I think the fact that he described the subjects as “an average white family” is part of what gives the quote context… and it shows what the country was like way back then. An equally interesting point to ponder is the question of who’s writing this book today? Who are today’s tenant farmers?
And what kind of person is going to put more focus on their plight?