Am I being “age-ist”? Maybe. But maybe not. The world is a pretty complicated place right now and I’m thinking that it’s not such a great time to elect our oldest President ever. So sue me.
Howdy Doody is younger than John McCain.
The original Howdy marionette was operated with 11 strings: two head, one mouth, one eyes, two shoulders, one back, two hands and two knees. Recent advances in marionette technology now allow Dick Cheney to do similar work much more easily.
(Check out both the prices and the “mail to” address in the ad to get a true sense of the ancient-ness.)
(Thanks to Erin for the tip!)
The “flip-flop” is younger than John McCain.
According to Mr. Wiki and Mr. Pedia (what?), these annoying “shoes” (surpassed only by “Crocs” in their sheer awfulness) were inspired by a post-war Japanese sandal… cleverly titled “jandals”.
Legend has it that the modern design was invented in New Zealand by one Morris Yock in the 50’s and patented in 1957. However, the children of John Cowie, an England-raised businessman who started a plastics manufacturing business in Hong Kong after the war, vehemently (!) deny Mr. Yock’s claim. It was, they say, their father - not the evil Yock - who manufactured a plastic version of the sandals in the late 1940s and that Mr. Yock was merely a New Zealand importer.
I’m so bored by this pseudo-controversy that I can barely keep my eyes open.
Anyway, you know what else is really annoying? The way that Republicans accuse a Democrat of “flip-flopping” (which I guess is supposed to be the more mature way of saying “Liar, liar, pants on fire”… although it sounds equally childish and it doesn’t have the cute rhyming thing going for it) when he or she gains new insight into an issue but they have no qualms themselves about being almost pathologically inconsistent.
Here’s, i don’t know, like 72 examples of what I’m talking about. (Hey, that’s almost one for every year of McCain’s age. How fortuitous.)
Two more comments…
I actually have no major issue with “flip-flopping”. To paraphrase Steven Colbert from the White House Correspondent’s Dinner, I don’t think that one should automatically view things the same way on Wednesday as they did on Monday… regardless of what happened on Tuesday. I do, however, call bullshit when one party tries to own the phrase.
I used a picture of the pinball game “Flip Flop” because scanning through pages and pages of images of flip-flops on Google Images made me want to vomit.
(Thanks to Jay for the tip!)
I seem to be getting a lot of first time visitors to the site lately… and a lot of them hit the wall around page 3. So I thought I’d make it a little easier for people to find the older stuff by putting together a very unscientific list of the top posts (based on page views, number of comments, ones that I think really help make my case, and ones that I just thought were funny)… and here they are:
Assorted Diatribes
Ageism
A day in the life of a middle-class Republican
Books
The Grapes of Wrath
Codes
The Zip Code
Discoveries
Oil in the desert
Penicillin
Foods
The York Peppermint Pattie
The Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
Cheerios
Images
A McCain campaign banner ad I wish we’d see
McCain goes after the youth vote
“Caption this photo” contest
Organizations
Mensa
People
Cindy McCain
Larry Flynt
Keith Richards
Ronald Reagan
My Mother
91% of America
Products
The Slinky
Scrabble
Duct Tape
Videos
McCain loses it on birth control issue
McCain says that his age is an issue
The Flexible Drinking Straw is younger than John McCain.
I’m not sure what I love more - the original sketch shown above (clearly drawn from a place of frustration with the limited beverage induction methods of the day) or the detailed description of the thought process behind the invention that was posted on the website of the National Museum of American History.
“While sitting in his younger brother Albert’s fountain parlor, the Varsity Sweet Shop in San Francisco, Friedman observed his young daughter Judith at the counter, struggling to drink out of a straight straw. He took a paper straight straw, inserted a screw and using dental floss, he wrapped the paper into the screw threads, creating corrugations. After removing the screw, the altered paper straw would bend conveniently over the edge of the glass, allowing small children to better reach their beverages.”
Two additional comments:
1. I am now convinced that there is absolutely nothing that is not on the Internet.
2. John McCain is really freaking old.
(Thanks to Troy for the tip!)
So pathetic. As if McCain wouldn’t spend a little more time in a Vietnamese prison camp in exchange for a FRACTION of the crowds and attention that Obama is deservedly getting.
But a question: am I wrong for posting these ads? In an attempt to point out how desperate he is and the negative tone his campaign has, am I giving him too much free press and making these spots rank too high in search engines?
(By the way, I love how the ad features Paris Hilton.)
As around 8:30 this morning, the blog hit a milestone… 500,029 unique visitors since its launch less than three months ago. While that might not seem like a lot as compared to some of the larger (or even medium-sized) blogs out there, it sure seems like a lot of eyeballs to me. And I just wanted to post to thank everyone for helping me get this thing off the ground.
I don’t know - maybe I’m preaching to the choir here - but I’d like to think that, in its own small way, the site could make a difference in the election. I mean, Florida was decided by a handful of people in 2000… so is it really so crazy to think that keeping the age issue top of mind with hundreds of thousands of people might help tip the scale to the left? Maybe. But maybe not.
This site is ad-free and, with the exception of the plug for my book, it will stay that way. So know that I have no ulterior motive when I ask you - as I’m asking you now - to please forward this link around to people who haven’t seen the site before so we can get to north of 1,000,000 visitors come November.
Thanks again.
Joe
Cleavon Little is (was) younger than John McCain.
Blazing Saddles was, hands-down, the funniest movie ever made. I’ve seen it more times than John McCain can count and, while it’s nearly impossible to pick a favorite line, the following one is right up there:
Bart: Are we awake?
Jim: We’re not sure. Are we… black?
Bart: Yes, we are.
Jim: Then we’re awake… but very puzzled.
(I wonder if there’s anyone else out there who’s similarly puzzled…)
I’m also partial to when Taggart and his men discover a tollbooth (in the middle of nowhere!) and he announces that “Someone has to go back and get a shitload of dimes.”
Funny, funny stuff.
But I support Moveon.org and the work that they do so I’m helping to spread the word.
Ben Stein is younger than John McCain.
Speechwriter for Nixon and Ford. Conservative economist. Lawyer. Actor. Game show host. Convincing spokesman for eye drops. Is there anything Ben Stein can’t do?
Well, for John McCain’s sake, it would be great if he could also wear the hat of Campaign Manager… as he was recently quoted as saying that McCain “is running the absolute most pathetic campaign I have ever seen in my whole life. His campaign is just heartbreakingly pathetic. He is a very impressive guy. He is a brave guy, but he is running the most lackluster campaign I have ever seen in my entire life. I would have thought Bob Dole’s campaign would have set a record for poor campaigns, but this one is even worse. I mean it is shocking.”
Wow.
UPDATE: Maybe McCain doesn’t really want to win and this whole “bad campaign” thing is part of a master plan to not inherit Bush’s record-breaking Federal deficit of $490 Billion.
So much so, in fact, that they’re using 8 year old footage in their coverage. I guess new video of McCain is hard to find???
Feel free to forward this video to the last person on the planet who actually believes that Fox isn’t biased.
But if there are any CSS gurus out there who could tell me how to make the box narrower so that the button sits on the same line, please let me know.
Thanks.
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