Am I being “age-ist”? Maybe. But maybe not. The world is a pretty complicated place right now and I’m thinking that it’s not such a great time to elect our oldest President ever. So sue me.
Dan Quayle is younger than John McCain.
Will Sarah Palin become John McCain’s Dan Quayle?
Will women suddenly gravitate to the McCain/Palin ticket and ignore - among other things - the fact that she’s rabidly “pro-life” (that phrase drives me crazy - as if those on the other side are “anti-life”) or will they be insulted by the blatant pandering?
Will John McCain ever be able to utter the word “inexperienced” again with a straight face?
These questions - and many others - will be answered in the next episode of Soap.
Sarah Palin’s Mom and Dad are younger than John McCain.
Sigh, there’s always that moment of awkwardness at the dawn of a new relationship when one of the partners realizes that the other is older than their parents…
Jim Morrison is (was) younger than John McCain.
I read this morning on Politico that John McCain only met Sarah Palin six months ago and that they only spoke on the phone once about her being his running mate. Then, mysteriously, this song popped into my head (with apologies to The Doors):
Hello, I love you
Won’t you be the the V.P.?
Hello, I love you
Please win it for me.
Hello, I love you
Won’t you be the the V.P.?
Hello, I love you
Please win it for me.
The guy who voted against the creation of a holiday honoring Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. makes a commercial congratulating Barack Obama on his accomplishments and, what, I’m supposed to nominate him for an NAACP award?
Thanks to all those who entered the contest - the following six finalists (I originally said I’d pick five but I couldn’t decide!) will all get a free copy of my book (”72 Things Younger Than John McCain” - ahem, available on Amazon, BN.com, Borders.com, Powells.com, and bookstores everywhere)!
Now it’s time for everyone else to weigh in… vote for your favorite by sending an email to tipsATthingsyoungerthanmccainDOTcom with “I vote for #(whatever)” in the subject line. The creator of the entry that gets the most votes will also get to pick anything they want from my CafePress store.
Voting opens…………………. now! (And it closes around 3:00 Eastern Friday.)
1.
2.
Seventy two years
Of patriotism OH!
He’s forgot his pants!
3.
Birthday wishes, John!
Too many candles for you?
Invite a fireman.
4.
I would e-mail you
for your birthday, McCain, but
the Web baffles you.
5.
Shall I remind thee of the summer’s day
When o’er New Orleans all the waves did crest?
Of all the homes and people swept away
As desperate pleas for aid went unaddressed?
You were not there to give survivors aid
Nor house them in your many domiciles.
No, in the Arizona sun you stayed,
To joke and pose with your friend Bush, all smiles.
Now we are drowning in a rain of debt,
As you proclaim the weather forecast fair.
Do you believe, because you are not wet,
The sun must thus be shining everywhere?
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
This callousness shall be thy legacy.
6.
You’re seventy two!
And we think that’s swell
You’re often confused
but few can tell
So go ahead and flip flop on your special day
And when asked a tough question be sure to say
I was a prisoner of war for over five years
They’ll forget the question and break into cheers
Your wife is a trophy, though she is number two
Wife number one never would do
Though she waited for you she was disfigured and fat
A man of your stature could never have that
Sure you were married, when you and Cindy first met
But you were a hero, a prisoner, a vet
So out with the old and in with the new
And it didn’t hurt that she had a buck or two
She was cute back then, but now she’s a trollop
But you don’t mind, you still like her wallet
You have lots of homes, we won’t ask you the number
You’re old, and you’re tired, and you do need your slumber
So yuck it up on your special birthday
Just don’t *uck it up and cause us dismay
Your old, and you’re tired, and you do need your sleep
Let us hope that you choose, a young man for your veep
OK, gotta go get in my speech-watching chair… later.
I posted this a while back but, given that I’ve read that the McCain camp is readying their “big, scary attack ad” to run alongside Barack Obama’s speech tonight, I thought it bears re-posting.
Fiberglass is younger than John McCain.
“Why, back in my day, we didn’t have your fancy ‘Fiberglass’ to keep us warm - the 18 of us just huddled in front of the wood stove in our log cabin and gosh darnit we were HAPPY about it! By the way, did I ever tell you about the time when I was in Vietnam and didn’t have a home???”
And, speaking of “log cabins”, wtf is up with “Log Cabin Republicans”? Is it me or are they a little confused… kinda like “Jews for Jesus”? Or “Vegetarians for Meat”?
So far, I’ve received a ton of great entries… thanks to everyone who sent them in. I’d love to get some more (especially videos and pictures!) so, if you’re thinking about entering, just make sure you send your ideas by the Thursday afternoon.
Bill Cosby is younger than John McCain.
And, oddly, not as funny. (See? I said something relatively nice about McCain! Maybe I’m not so bad after all… or maybe it’s that I think Bill Cosby is the least funny guy to have ever walked the planet. Hmmm… what a mystery.)
“…But McCain’s age is no joke. He will turn 72 on Friday and would be halfway to 73 if elected and sworn in on January 20. That would make him the oldest first-term President ever, two years older than Ronald Reagan. He has survived four skin cancers (melanomas), including one in 2000 that was classified as Stage IIa.
McCain is two years older than his father was when he died suddenly of a heart attack at 70. He is 11 years older than his grandfather was when he died suddenly of a heart attack at age 61.
The United States cannot afford the risk that McCain would die suddenly in the middle of an international crisis.
Nor can we afford the risk of dementia. 22% of Americans over 70 are affected by mild cognitive impairment, while 13% of Americans over 65 have Alzheimer’s. Ronald Reagan was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at age 83, but early signs were evident during his first term. Britain’s “Iron Lady” Margaret Thatcher developed dementia at age 75.
Prescriptions can also adversely affect mental function. McCain takes Simvastatin, an arthritis drug that can cause memory loss. McCain also takes Ambien to sleep, which can cause amnesia and “fugue states” like the one that caused Rep. Patrick Kennedy’s late-night car crash. If the phone rang at 3 a.m., would McCain even wake up?…”
