Thanks to all those who entered the contest – the following six finalists (I originally said I’d pick five but I couldn’t decide!) will all get a free copy of my book (“72 Things Younger Than John McCain” – ahem, available on Amazon, BN.com, Borders.com, Powells.com, and bookstores everywhere)!
Now it’s time for everyone else to weigh in… vote for your favorite by sending an email to tipsATthingsyoungerthanmccainDOTcom with “I vote for #(whatever)” in the subject line. The creator of the entry that gets the most votes will also get to pick anything they want from my CafePress store.
Voting opens…………………. now! (And it closes around 3:00 Eastern Friday.)
1.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVyzctrzF5g
2.
Seventy two years
Of patriotism OH!
He’s forgot his pants!
3.
Birthday wishes, John!
Too many candles for you?
Invite a fireman.
4.
I would e-mail you
for your birthday, McCain, but
the Web baffles you.
5.
Shall I remind thee of the summer’s day
When o’er New Orleans all the waves did crest?
Of all the homes and people swept away
As desperate pleas for aid went unaddressed?
You were not there to give survivors aid
Nor house them in your many domiciles.
No, in the Arizona sun you stayed,
To joke and pose with your friend Bush, all smiles.
Now we are drowning in a rain of debt,
As you proclaim the weather forecast fair.
Do you believe, because you are not wet,
The sun must thus be shining everywhere?
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
This callousness shall be thy legacy.
6.
You’re seventy two!
And we think that’s swell
You’re often confused
but few can tell
So go ahead and flip flop on your special day
And when asked a tough question be sure to say
I was a prisoner of war for over five years
They’ll forget the question and break into cheers
Your wife is a trophy, though she is number two
Wife number one never would do
Though she waited for you she was disfigured and fat
A man of your stature could never have that
Sure you were married, when you and Cindy first met
But you were a hero, a prisoner, a vet
So out with the old and in with the new
And it didn’t hurt that she had a buck or two
She was cute back then, but now she’s a trollop
But you don’t mind, you still like her wallet
You have lots of homes, we won’t ask you the number
You’re old, and you’re tired, and you do need your slumber
So yuck it up on your special birthday
Just don’t *uck it up and cause us dismay
Your old, and you’re tired, and you do need your sleep
Let us hope that you choose, a young man for your veep
OK, gotta go get in my speech-watching chair… later.
Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"
