Things younger than Republican Presidential candidate (oh, and did I forget to mention war hero?) John McCain

Eldon Smith is exactly the same age as John McCain.

Coincidence? Hardly. They’re the same guy.

(Thanks to Jeff for the tip!)

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

From DailyKos.com – where they list a whole host of situations that can be rectified by using the card.

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

John McCain turns a spry 72 on Friday and I would be remiss in my duties if I let such an eventful day go by unmocked… so here’s what I thought I’d do:

I’m throwing a contest for the best birthday greeting you can come up with. It can be a video, an image, or even a 5-7-5 haiku. Do whatever you want but keep it relatively tasteful so that I can post the winning entries here on the blog and also send it off to the McCain camp.

I’ll pick 5 finalists – each of whom will win a copy of my book – and then I’ll post those entries and put it out to a vote to decide the ultimate winner… who will also receive any item of their choosing from my CafePress store.

Images and haikus can be emailed right to tipsATthingsyoungerthanmccainDOTcom with the words “Contest Entry” in the subject line. For videos, just upload them to YouTube or some other video site and send me the link (same address/subject line).

I know it’s short notice but please get your entries in by Thursday afternoon.

Thanks… and have fun.

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

If you happen to be near a radio at around 8:10 Eastern (which I think is 6:10 Mountain), turn to 850 KOA-AM. I’ll be on a show called “The Ride Home – with Dave Logan and Lois Melkonian” talking about the blog/book.

UPDATE: Just got bumped to tomorrow at 6:10 Eastern. Apparently there’s some big convention in Denver this week and the show was running behind.

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Elvis Presley is younger than John McCain.

Yes, I said “is” younger than John McCain. But that doesn’t mean I think Elvis is still alive. (Andy Kaufman… well, that’s another story.)

Update: I seem to have had a McCainMoment™… Elvis isn’t/wasn’t younger. Terribly sorry.

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

The thong is younger than John McCain.

“Aubrey” wrote in to say that she Freudingly starts typing “thongsyoungerthan…” every time she comes to the site… which prompted her to discover that the thong is, in fact, younger than the guy with seven houses.

Seems that the then Mayor of NYC Fiorello LaGuardia (what a coincidence – we also have an airport named LaGuardia!) wanted the nude dancers to dress more appropriately. No word as to what he did about the guys who were using squeegees to clean the eyes of horses. (It’s a Giuliani thing – NY’ers will get it.)

PS: To save people the trouble of asking, the image above is of a guy who calls himself “Sisqo” – and he’s the rapper who gets the award for “writing” the single. dumbest. song. ever.

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

So I popped into the Barnes & Noble on 6th Avenue and 8th Street in the Village last night and saw my book on display – very exciting!!

I can think of no better way to celebrate McCain’s upcoming birthday (this Friday – more on that later!) than by picking up a copy (or 20). It’s available here, here, here, and here…. and hopefully in bookstores everywhere.

Thanks – and if you happen to see it in a store yourself, I’d love to see a shot of it taken with your phone. Send them to tipsATthingsyoungerthanmccainDOTcom.

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

It’s a question I’m often asked and, contrary to the emails I’ve received calling me a “liberal homo” (our friends on the Right are so classy, aren’t they?), it has nothing to do with questioning his patriotism. It’s because he and his team refuse to let an opportunity go by without reminding us that he was a POW.

They’re even trying to inject it in his “I don’t know how many homes I have” gaffe.

And that’s after playing that card when defending his health care plan and his musical tastes (even though his timing was off by a decade or so on that one).

So lame.

UPDATE: Seems I’m not the only one who finds this tiresome…..

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/08/22/pundits-start-hitting-mcc_n_120653.html

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

If you were able to answer that question, congratulate yourself… you think faster and you have a better memory than John McCain.

If, on the other hand, you said that you would need to “have (your) staff get to (me)”, then I would suggest you go running around your neighborhood calling everyone else an elitist. See how well that goes over.

Update: See the commercial…

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpmFd25tRqo

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

The Peace-time Draft is younger than John McCain.

QUESTIONER: If we don’t reenact the draft, I don’t think we’ll have anyone to chase Bin Laden to the gates of hell.

MCCAIN: Ma’am, let me say that I don’t disagree with anything you said.

Now, I’m not saying that I’m entirely against the Draft. We need to have a military and, true patriots aside, it seems like our current one is composed largely of people who have run out of options – and that seems wrong. I am, however, entirely against the Draft if it means a return to the time when children of privilege manage to find a way to circumvent service.

In other words, one for all or none for all.

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

The #1 song on the day John McCain was born was “Did I Remember?” by Shep Fields, from his album “That Old Feeling”.

(Thanks to Nigel and Natalie for the tip!)

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

The pull-tab on cans is younger than John McCain.

The ad above looks to the near future – to a time when getting the “real gusto” of Schlitz would be much, much easier…. thanks to the softer top that allows the opener to cut through the metal like a warm knife through butter.

Imagine the excitement that would follow years later when Mikolaj Kondakow of Thunder Bay, Ontario would invent the pull-tab.. eliminating the need for the separate opener altogether.

No, really. Just try to imagine. And think of the gusto possibilities.

(Thanks to Tami for the tip!)

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Billie Jean King is younger than John McCain.

She’s like Jackie Robinson. Only she’s a woman. And she’s white. And gay. And a tennis player. Otherwise, put them in a room together and you’d be hard-pressed to tell the difference.

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

[polldaddy poll="864662"]

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

The indoor shopping mall is younger than John McCain.

Depending on who you ask (many cities seek to lay claim to the coveted title of “pioneer in bludgeoning the landscape), the first indoor shopping mall either was or was not the Southdale Center near Minneapolis.

(Thanks to Matt for the tip!)

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"