I found this floating around during the last election and thought it was time for it to see the light of day again.
Hope you enjoy (and please forward!):
Tom gets up at 6:00 AM to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot with good, clean drinking water because some liberal fought for minimum water quality standards. He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His medications are safe to take because some liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employer’s medical plan. Because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance, now Tom gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast — bacon and eggs this day. Tom’s bacon is safe to eat because some liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry. Tom takes his morning shower, reaching for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount that is contains because some liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and the breakdown of its contents. Tom dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree-hugging liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work; it saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees. You see, some liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Tom begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Tom’s employer meets these standards because Tom’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union. If Tom is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he’ll get worker’s compensation or an unemployment check because some liberal didn’t think he should lose his home to temporary misfortune.
It’s noon time. Tom needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Tom’s deposit is federally insured by the FDIC because some liberal wanted to protect Tom’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the depression.
Tom has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten mortgage and his below market federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that Tom and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.
Tom is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to dads; his car is among the safest in the world because some liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans. The house didn’t have electric until some big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification (those rural Republican’s would still be sitting in the dark).
Tom is happy to see his dad, who is now retired. Tom’s dad lives on Social Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Tom wouldn’t have to. After his visit with dad, Tom gets back in his car for the ride home. He turns on a radio talk show. The host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn’t tell Tom that his beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Tom enjoys throughout his day. Tom agrees, “We don’t need those big government liberals ruining our lives.
After all, I’m a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.”
I’ve always enjoyed this little parable.
I had an encounter a few years ago with a battered pickup truck on which was a bumper sticker that read “Liberalism is the root of all evil.” I say encounter because he made a rolled through a stop sign and made a right turn onto a very busy street, forcing me to slam on my brakes. At which point I saw the deep thought on the bumper.
I decided I needed to get a look at this sterling individual. My guess would be he was in his late sixties or early seventies. I really wanted to find a way to ask him whether he was sending back his Social Security checks — seeing as how liberalism was the reason he was getting them.
I didn’t, of course. But I’d be willing to bet he wouldn’t have known what I was talking about…
Comment by Roddy McCorley — June 25, 2008 @ 11:57 am
Tom rests safely enjoying his prosperity because he has been told that God loves him and has materially blessed him and assured his freedom because conservative Christians are standing against the tide of abortionists, feminists, racial minorities and homosexuals who are all pushing their “agenda” to ruin his prosperity. After all, Jesus is a white, capitalist, American imperialist God, don’t'cha know?
Comment by JustforQuix — June 25, 2008 @ 12:11 pm
the middle class uses our benefits, just doesn’t want to pay for them.
Comment by pansypoo — June 25, 2008 @ 2:43 pm
I really liked this, but I’d like it even more if we had specifics of who all these “some liberal”s were. That way it’d be funny AND educational. (But still kind of sad at the same time.)
Comment by Sarah — June 25, 2008 @ 3:14 pm
And more often than not, that liberal was Ralph Nader.
Comment by Erin D. — June 25, 2008 @ 6:57 pm
[...] the wondrous Things Younger Than John McCain, written by some anonymous smart person: Tom gets up at 6:00 AM to prepare his morning coffee. He [...]
Pingback by All Things That Are Good · A Day In The Life of a Middle Class Republican — June 25, 2008 @ 9:16 pm
I hope you’ve seen the “I’m Voting Republican” (spoof) TV spot: http://youtube.com/watch?v=FiQJ9Xp0xxU
It makes me laugh every time. Laugh . . . and then cry.
Comment by themadhapa — June 26, 2008 @ 12:47 am
i did - i think it’s brilliant.
Comment by admin — June 26, 2008 @ 7:21 am
O HAI! I ADDID SYTASHINS 4 U!!1!
Comment by ReallyEvilCanine — June 27, 2008 @ 5:25 pm
[...] http://www.thingsyoungerthanmccain.com/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-middle-class-republican/ [...]
Pingback by “A Day in the life of a Middle-Class Republican” « Rev. F. David Swallow II — July 2, 2008 @ 3:49 pm
Yawn!
Comment by rps — July 14, 2008 @ 12:51 pm
thanks for that well-argued reply!
Comment by admin — July 14, 2008 @ 12:56 pm
“A Day in the Life of a Middle-Class Republican” makes me think about all those whiners at work work slamming on “liberals” and how bad they are. I’d give them a copy but I know they wouldn’t be open minded enough to read past the first few lines.
Comment by Alex K — July 15, 2008 @ 1:11 am
[...] Day In The Life This is a little story that I found here. I think it expresses the issue very eloquently. Tom gets up at 6:00 AM to prepare his morning [...]
Pingback by A Day In The Life « A Hippie’s Musings — August 16, 2008 @ 9:45 am