Things younger than Republican Presidential candidate (oh, and did I forget to mention war hero?) John McCain

Tomoji Tanabe is not younger than John McCain.

Happy birthday to Tomoji Tanabe who, at 113, is the world’s oldest man.

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Norma McCorvey is younger than John McCain.

Yes, I know that Ms. McCorvey – the “Roe” in “Roe v. Wade” – converted to Christianity, became a “pro-life” (read: anti-choice) advocate, denounced the Supreme Court decision, and has worked to have it overturned. All that means nothing to me, as it sometimes happens that the role of a plaintiff is to bring an issue into our collective consciousness. (In other words, I don’t think anyone was nominating Ernesto Miranda for man-of-the-year… but he was “used” to make a much larger point.)

John McCain prides himself on “never once (having made) a non-pro-life vote”, he voted against the “Freedom of Access to Clinics Act” (which established federal penalties for people who use force, the threat of force or physical obstruction to block access to abortion clinics), and has stated time and again that “Roe v. Wade is a flawed decision that must be overturned”. Additionally, he has tried to soften his position on abortion by wrapping himself in Constitutional interpretation and claiming that the legality of abortion is a decision that should be left to the states. Besides from this being a total copout and the nambiest of pamby stances, the reality is that 23 states already have unconstitutional abortion bans on the books that will take effect if Roe v. Wade is overturned. So, by punting it back to the states, he gets to please his base, not look like the bad guy (“Hey, it wasn’t me… it was the states!”) and, in turn, make abortion illegal in almost half the country. Nice.

Look, this isn’t a “woman’s” issue or, with all due respect to the believers, a religious one (if you think abortion is morally wrong and against biblical law, fantastic – don’t have one). It’s an issue of choice, freedom, respect, and – more specifically – the harsh reality of what will happen to the less fortunate among us if legal and safe access to abortion is blocked. Of all the reasons to vote for Barack Obama (and I can think of many), there are few greater than this.

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Dwight David Eisenhower (at inauguration) was younger than John McCain.

Here’s a great quote from what some regarded as an inexperienced President:

“No one should ever sit in this office over 70 years old, and that I know.”

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Every female CEO of a Fortune 500 company is younger than John McCain.

Granted, there are only 12 (up from 10 last year) but I think it’s pretty safe to say that just about any of these accomplished women are more qualified to be the Vice President than “Miss Wasilla 1984″.

(I’m working seeing how many on the whole list are younger than John McMockOutrage – as I think it will be pretty telling if the Boards of all these companies think age is an issue with respect to leadership – but this will obviously take some time. If anyone wants to help out by grabbing a section of the alphabet, just let me know… thanks.)

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Osama Bin Laden is younger than John McCain.

Just about everyone in NYC has their own 9/11 story – where they were at the time, who they lost, who they know who lost someone, what happened, what almost happened but thank God didn’t, what they saw that renewed their faith in NY’ers, etc., etc.

My story – fortunately – is quite mild compared to most. Even though we lived four blocks from the WTC and we were displaced from our apartment for six weeks, I can honestly say that we were basically fine. No loss of life or injury in our immediate circle, no PTSD or long-term health effects (that we know of), and our apartment was in amazingly good shape (thanks solely to my wife’s compulsion about keeping windows closed!).

And, while I have a lot of memories surrounding that period and dozens of anecdotes to share, the one that stands out in my mind on this day is how – somewhere around the 14th of September – we waited on line for hours to try to get into our building to pick up a few essential items (you had to be escorted by an Army guy at the time) only to be told that the area was being shut down because the President was arriving. It was right then and there that the jingoism started and all the talk was about “the people who did this will hear us soon enough” and how “We’re gonna git ‘em”.

Well, it’s seven years and hundreds of billions of dollars later and we haven’t “gotten ‘em”. So, in addition to today being a day of remembrance and gratitude, let it also serve as a punishing referendum on an administration that has failed miserably. Let it be a reminder of why we need real change. And let it motivate and inspire you to donate to the Obama campaign.

Thanks.

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Karl Rove is younger than John McCain.

Is it possible that – finally – the so-called “Rovian” tactics that the GOP has used to win/steal elections are no longer working on the American voter? Is the mainstream media – finally – waking up and calling bullshit on the true “pig in lipstick”?

Seems that way…

McCain Campaign Called Out For Half-Truths
McCain Ad About “Bridge to Nowhere” Misleading
As Campaign Heats Up, Untruths Can Become Facts Before They’re Undone
McCain “Responsible For One Of The Sleaziest Ads I’ve Ever Seen”
A McCain Ad Comparing Palin To Obama Isn’t All Above Board.
Obama Says “Enough Is Enough”

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Today, September 5th, is what would’ve been my father’s 72nd birthday. Had he not died about 5 1/2 years ago from Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (a type of cancer which, by the way, isn’t nearly as widespread as melanoma), he would’ve been exactly one week younger than John McCain.

While my mother is certainly no stranger to left/progressive causes (more so of late), I think it was my father who really shaped my liberal ideology. I have vague memories of him burning the midnight oil designing ads and posters for Allard Lowenstein (although, since I was only three, he was probably really only burning the 7:30 oil) and also of standing outside with him in all kinds of weather to hand out flyers for other uber-liberal candidates. When I (along with half the guys in my high school class) were all trying to aspire to be the next “Alex P. Keaton”, it was my father who told me that one measure of a society’s greatness is how well it takes care of those least qualified to take care of themselves. He knew “trickle down” was bullshit, was the only one among his fishing buddies that saw the Clinton impeachment for what it was, and he loathed Bush long before it was cool to loathe Bush (which itself was before time proved the lefties right).

I think if he were alive today, his head would explode from this election. I mean, on the one side, you have this historic, holy-shit-I-can’t-believe-this-might-actually-happen-in-my-lifetime kind of event while, on the other, you have a black guy running for president (See what I did just there? I turned things around for a cheap laugh. I’m so ashamed.) My phone would be ringing off the “hook” as he alternated between rage and joy – with each of us ranting, raving, and loving every minute of it. He would’ve gone nuts over this blog, wouldn’t have thought it “ageist” in the slightest, and probably would’ve been its top contributor/rouser of rabble.

One more thing… you hear a lot of people say (rather cavalierly and moronically, I might add) things like “Oh, it’s a good thing my so-and-so isn’t alive to see…” or “Thank God so-and-so didn’t live to see the day that…” and, while there have certainly been no shortage of political outrages and right-wing nutbaggery over the past 5 1/2 years that would’ve made my father crazy, all things considered, I think I’d still rather have him back.

Happy birthday, Dad – I miss you all the time.

Joe

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Dr. Phillip Butler is younger than John McCain.

He’s 70, was a POW, knew McCain from the Naval Academy and Vietnam, quotes data that says POW’s die younger than average citizens, and thinks McCain and the media are making him out to be something that he’s not. Needless to say, he doesn’t think McCain is cut out to be President.

Watch – and forward.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KjsEs46C70

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Dan Quayle is younger than John McCain.

Will Sarah Palin become John McCain’s Dan Quayle?
Will women suddenly gravitate to the McCain/Palin ticket and ignore – among other things – the fact that she’s rabidly “pro-life” (that phrase drives me crazy – as if those on the other side are “anti-life”) or will they be insulted by the blatant pandering?
Will John McCain ever be able to utter the word “inexperienced” again with a straight face?

These questions – and many others – will be answered in the next episode of Soap.

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Sarah Palin’s Mom and Dad are younger than John McCain.

Sigh, there’s always that moment of awkwardness at the dawn of a new relationship when one of the partners realizes that the other is older than their parents…

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Jim Morrison is (was) younger than John McCain.

I read this morning on Politico that John McCain only met Sarah Palin six months ago and that they only spoke on the phone once about her being his running mate. Then, mysteriously, this song popped into my head (with apologies to The Doors):

Hello, I love you
Won’t you be the the V.P.?
Hello, I love you
Please win it for me.
Hello, I love you
Won’t you be the the V.P.?
Hello, I love you
Please win it for me.

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Bill Cosby is younger than John McCain.

And, oddly, not as funny. (See? I said something relatively nice about McCain! Maybe I’m not so bad after all… or maybe it’s that I think Bill Cosby is the least funny guy to have ever walked the planet. Hmmm… what a mystery.)

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Eldon Smith is exactly the same age as John McCain.

Coincidence? Hardly. They’re the same guy.

(Thanks to Jeff for the tip!)

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Elvis Presley is younger than John McCain.

Yes, I said “is” younger than John McCain. But that doesn’t mean I think Elvis is still alive. (Andy Kaufman… well, that’s another story.)

Update: I seem to have had a McCainMoment™… Elvis isn’t/wasn’t younger. Terribly sorry.

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"

Billie Jean King is younger than John McCain.

She’s like Jackie Robinson. Only she’s a woman. And she’s white. And gay. And a tennis player. Otherwise, put them in a room together and you’d be hard-pressed to tell the difference.

Buy the book: "72 Things Younger Than John McCain"