Kraft Macaroni and Cheese is younger than John McCain.
I put Kraft Macaroni and Cheese right up there with the wheel and the iphone as one of the world’s great inventions. Created by divine inspiration in 1937, it’s the perfect meal when you have a cold or when you’re too lazy to make, you know, real food. The key, however, lies in my own secret technique… which I will share with you here and now:
The Double Drain™.
You see, the directions call for the chef to drain the water after the macaroni has come to a boil… but that’s insane. Between the milk, the butter, and the excess water that didn’t drain, you’ll still be left with a runny mess that will deprive you of the full “cheese” experience. One must do a second, “cleansing” drain just prior to emptying the contents onto ones plate. And one must also use a wooden spoon.
For the less industrious among us, there’s a product called “Kraft Easy Mac” which can be prepared with just water and a microwave in 3 1/2 minutes… but that’s just sad.
Finally, to borrow from a comment that Joe G. wrote about the corndog (which was one of the five most impassioned odes to the corndog I’ve ever read), “Elect a President that was born before the invention of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese? Not on my watch, pal.”
(Thanks to Jane and Peter for the tip!)
Monday, May 19, 2008
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You have inspired me to share one of my Mac ‘n Cheese cooking secrets.
My first roommate in college in 1987 used to cook what he called “The College Special” when we were broke (which was most of the time). The cost to prepare it was about $1 and fed both of us a hearty meal. It was:
Prepare a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
Add 1 large can of Campbell’s Chunky New England Clam Chowder
Stir can of soup into the Mac ‘n Cheese
Not recommended for low-carb diets, but great on the budget.
Comment by SueWho — May 19, 2008 @ 10:09 am
I, too, am a fan of non-creamy Mac&Cheese, and I just put in way less butter and milk than they call for.
You can also boil a hot dog or two with the macaroni and cut them up in there for extra protein. Yum! Kraft dinner — food of the gods!
Comment by fleisch — May 19, 2008 @ 2:49 pm
He’s a year older than Jane Fonda!
Jane Fonda - born December 21, 1937:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Fonda
Comment by Rasputin — May 19, 2008 @ 3:15 pm
I’m not sure what you mean by the ’second, cleansing drain’, but you know what’s even better than Kraft Mac+Cheese?
Open up a second package of Mac+Cheese, take the cheese packet out and add it to the M+C you just made. Voila - Macaroni and Double Cheese. Nirvana!
Comment by r€nato — May 19, 2008 @ 10:42 pm
John McCain is also older than Instant Oatmeal (1955).
Imagine a world without instant oatmeal.
Comment by K.T. — May 20, 2008 @ 6:39 am
The double drain, yes! Because water collects inside those tubular little buggers.
A few more hints:
1. Warm the milk slightly in the microwave before adding it to the M&C. This prevents premature chilling.
2. Substitute sour cream or plain yogurt for part of the milk for extra creamy goodness.
3. Baco*s make everything better. But not usually M&C. Some things must remain pure.
4. Leftovers (on the rare occasion they occur) must be eaten cold–microwaving kills the flavor.
The sad thing is, with John McCain’s economic ‘policies,’ more people will be forced to eat M&C, and not for fun.
Comment by Jeri — May 21, 2008 @ 1:47 pm
I’d like to try your method, but I don’t have any spoons made out of materials that weren’t invented during John McCain’s lifetime.
Comment by Agamemmnon — May 23, 2008 @ 3:33 pm
My secret is to use less butter and more milk.
Comment by John — May 29, 2008 @ 2:04 pm
very unconventional - but i’ll give it a try!
Comment by admin — May 29, 2008 @ 2:26 pm
Using a few words from your post:
Kraft Easy Mac” which can be prepared with just water and a microwave in 3 1/2 minutes… but that’s just sad.
Yet, McCain can be bribed and bought quicker than that, and that’s just bad!
Now you’ve got a poem. Regards, Diane
Comment by Diane — July 1, 2008 @ 6:15 pm
I usually just boil it a little more after adding the milk, butter and sauce packet. That gets rid of the excess liquid, but insted of pouring off part of the cheese, you end up concentrating it more, so the flavor is more intense. It also solves the problem of excessive cooling from the milk and butter, and heating it on the stove doesn’t destroy the flavor the way microwaving does.
Comment by Lyn — July 18, 2008 @ 12:33 am
[...] The York Peppermint Pattie The Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich Kraft Macaroni and Cheese [...]
Pingback by The top 25 posts. | Things younger than Republican Presidential candidate (oh, and did I forget to mention war hero?) John McCain — July 31, 2008 @ 7:45 am
Kraft Mac n Cheese always a classic. As an adult with somewhat snooty taste can’t resist. The thing I don’t like about KMnC is that it definately does not taste good as leftovers. It’s like, what happened to the cheese taste? It’s one of those foods you have to eat right after preparation to maximize the cheesiness.
Comment by Jesse — August 31, 2008 @ 2:53 pm
[...] Kraft Macaroni and Cheese [...]
Pingback by President Palin? | Pet Marmoset — September 12, 2008 @ 7:04 pm
I LOVE KRAFT DINNER:)
Comment by alesha kennedy — October 28, 2008 @ 9:10 am
KRAFT DINNER IS AMAZING:):):):):):)
Comment by alesha kennedy in PEI — October 28, 2008 @ 9:13 am
Kraft dinner is amazingly awsomer:)
Comment by Kaylea — October 28, 2008 @ 9:13 am
I must say that Kraft M-n-C had richer and more intense flavor years ago. Now, it has a noticeably weaker flavor and the cheese has more filler in it. Tastes like four. It tastes like now what generic Mac and cheese tasted like then. I have tried everything to make it taste better. I did find that lessening up the milk portion helps slightly. Like everything over the years, the quality goes down as the price goes up. ShopRite shells and cheddar is quite good and I buy that now.
Comment by J.C. — January 6, 2009 @ 2:43 pm
what’s with all the colon cleansing stuff >_>? it’s kraft mac and cheese, it’s noodles and butter and milk, not acid. lol
Comment by wtf? — January 17, 2009 @ 7:27 am