John McCain turns a spry 72 on Friday and I would be remiss in my duties if I let such an eventful day go by unmocked… so here’s what I thought I’d do:
I’m throwing a contest for the best birthday greeting you can come up with. It can be a video, an image, or even a 5-7-5 haiku. Do whatever you want but keep it relatively tasteful so that I can post the winning entries here on the blog and also send it off to the McCain camp.
I’ll pick 5 finalists - each of whom will win a copy of my book - and then I’ll post those entries and put it out to a vote to decide the ultimate winner… who will also receive any item of their choosing from my CafePress store.
Images and haikus can be emailed right to tipsATthingsyoungerthanmccainDOTcom with the words “Contest Entry” in the subject line. For videos, just upload them to YouTube or some other video site and send me the link (same address/subject line).
I know it’s short notice but please get your entries in by Thursday afternoon.
Thanks… and have fun.
rats. i suck at this kinda thing.
Comment by pansypoo — August 26, 2008 @ 2:21 pm
I skipped showering because of this.
And ode to John McCain:
Dear John McCain,
Happy Birthday to you.
You are older than dirt,
Only 72.
You fought in that war
And your scars really show it
That sack on your neck,
Makes me gag and you know it.
Sometimes you forget
Or let go of your anger
But you were a P.O.W.
So you are of no danger.
One thing is for sure,
Even though you traded spouses
You will keep those extremist islamo-fascist terrorist freedom-haters
Off the lawns of your eight houses.
You know that’s where you will be next year,
Because you are unfit for command
The White House is out of range,
Of your outstretched old hands.
So let’s take that Social Security check
And go hit the town
We can golf and go gamble
So wipe off that frown.
I know you want the oval office
To go get that Osama
But the fact is the next president
Will be, Barack Obama.
Comment by Jed Bradley — August 26, 2008 @ 4:55 pm
that is SOOOO GOOD! I am super impressed, the bar has been set.
Comment by Ali — August 26, 2008 @ 6:06 pm
Why thank you.
Comment by Jed Bradley — August 26, 2008 @ 6:33 pm
You’re seventy two!
And we think that’s swell
You’re often confused
but few can tell
So go ahead and flip flop on your special day
And when asked a tough question be sure to say
I was a prisoner of war for over five years
They’ll forget the question and break into cheers
Your wife is a trophy, though she is number two
Wife number one never would do
Though she waited for you she was disfigured and fat
A man of your stature could never have that
Sure you were married, when you and Cindy first met
But you were a hero, a prisoner, a vet
So out with the old and in with the new
And it didn’t hurt that she had a buck or two
She was cute back then, but now she’s a trollop
But you don’t mind, you still like her wallet
You have lots of homes, we won’t ask you the number
You’re old, and you’re tired, and you do need your slumber
So yuck it up on your special birthday
Just don’t *uck it up and cause us dismay
Your old, and you’re tired, and you do need your sleep
Let us hope that you choose, a young man for your veep
Comment by Elaine B — August 26, 2008 @ 6:54 pm
Oooh… these are good. I emailed mine in, though! I hope it stands up.
Comment by allie0720 — August 26, 2008 @ 10:27 pm
[...] those who haven’t seen it before, here’s the original post about the contest.) SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: “Last call for birthday contest entries.”, url: [...]
Pingback by Last call for birthday contest entries. | Things younger than Republican Presidential candidate (oh, and did I forget to mention war hero?) John McCain — August 27, 2008 @ 7:54 pm